Thursday, July 22, 2010

Becoming a housewife

Sara Roberts is visiting today.  We met on & she graciously agreed to provide a guest post about her transition to a SAHM.  You should visit her site; she has great money saving ideas.  So, drum roll please ... here's Sara!

My name is Sara Roberts and I am a SAHM of three.  My blog is The Millennial Housewife.  It was created because I was looking for ways to cut our budget down and give us some breathing room.  I started researching grocery store deals, and stumbled upon all of the great deals that you can find online.  Now, I like to do product reviews and share tips with my readers, along with still finding the best deal.  

 I often read posts from other SAHMs who claim that they’ve always dreamed about being a SAHM, and there was no other choice.  Part of me believes that.   For me, becoming a SAHM was not that easy or such a simple decision. 

First of all, when I met my husband I was working and going to college.    I was also only 19 when we met, so the thought that I would ever be a SAHM never occurred to me.  We got married when I was 21, so again, it seemed perfectly natural that I continue to work, as I had no reason not to.    Our first child came along when I was 22.   During my 6 weeks of maternity leave, I did start dreaming of being home with him but, at that time, it did not make financial sense for our family.   Like everyone else, we had bills to pay and it just wasn’t an option. 

Baby number two came along a few years later, after my husband had been laid off and working at a new place.  We were not in good financial shape, and me staying at home was more of a dream, but definitely not an option.   I had a good sitter, and really trusted her with my kids.  I just didn’t think I was the SAHM type. 

All of a sudden, our sitter quit.  We changed sitters again and, this time, I was not as satisfied.  But, we kept trucking on.  Around my birthday,  we found out that Baby number three was on the way - and this time we were NOT planning for another one!   I kept working and the idea of staying at home crossed my mind, but I didn’t think that it would even be possible.  Right before our third child was born, our sitter started flaking out on us - big time.  For the last month before I went on maternity leave, I had to use a backup sitter.   That really started turning the wheels.  The final kicker was when she quoted me what she would charge me to watch my three children - it was outrageous!  We couldn’t afford for me TO go to work.  Not to mention the fact that this woman was charging me this amount and I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why she thought she was worth that much!  We sat down and put the numbers on paper, and it became clear - I could stay home and we would still be able to pay the bills. 

Even after seeing it on paper, there was so much more to consider.  All of these questions started flashing around my head:  By me staying at home, all of the financial responsibility would now be placed on my husband.  Was he ready to shoulder all of it?  I would now be in complete control of the household, was I ready to shoulder all of it?  What if we couldn’t make ends meet - would it be my fault?  Will my husband resent my new role?  Would I be doing the best thing for our family?  Will I be able to go back to work one day and still have a career?  Would I even want to?    The thought that I was about to leave the “adult” world terrified me.  What was I going to do at home?

I’ve been at home for 2-½ years now.  I made the absolute RIGHT decision for our family.  Things have been tight at times and it has not always been picture perfect.  We have made lifestyle changes and had to cut back.  But knowing that my kids will remember having Mom as their “sitter” and not someone else is priceless to me.   I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

The important thing to remember is this:  Do what is right for you.  Quit worrying about what other people think or say.  Everyone thinks that the way they live is the right way, and it is FOR THEM.  Live how it is right for you.  


  1. "Quit worrying about what other people think or say." --that applies to pretty much everything. I'm grateful that I am able to be home for my kids. Glad you are as well.

  2. Thanks Tammy for having me guest today! I hope your readers enjoy it. "talk" to you soon!!