Testosterone: Terrific or Terrible?

OK, I realize that testosterone (aka Mr. T) serves a purpose, really I do. It is a steroid sex hormone (this blog is rated PG, right? It is OK to use the S** word?) responsible for the growth & development of masculine characteristics … with all that entails ... thankfully sparing you, kind reader, all of the graphic R rated details. This is the “terrific” part. I mean seriously, nobody likes a girly man. We all swoon over the hunky guy that makes us do a double take.

But there is a darker side to this fantastic hormone … it is also linked to aggressive & predatory behaviors. That is where I take issue with the fabulous Mr. T. When it rears its ugly head by possessing my baby boy’s adolescent body, enough is enough!! OK, lest you think my son is just a momma’s boy & I am some overprotective mom, let me share a recent experience. A time of mom/son bonding, if you will. Well, maybe not, because EVERYONE knows it is NOT cool to hang with your parents during the vulnerable adolescent years, lest their budding psyches be permanently scarred by exposure to acceptable social mores. Anyway, I digress.

One of DS’s passions (well, actually only) is video games. He started with a Nintendo DS @ age 7 and has been hooked ever since. No, hooked is not too strong a word … I swear he goes through withdrawals when denied the sublime joy of completing isolating himself from actual physical interaction with others. Nothing makes him more giddy than to shut his door, put on the headset, power up the xBox & play with his pals (XBOX Live, still not sure how that works, BTW). Sooo, for his birthday, he requested a super fantastic headset which apparently does everything except make toast (which for $60, I don’t think an occasional slice would be too much to ask) and some video gizmo that he can use to make videos of he and said pals gaming to post on YouTube. No, I have no idea why either. Apparently, though after he gets a gazillion “hits” on YouTube, he can make some moolah. So, said wonderful electronic gadgetry is duly purchased. Oh, did I forget to mention, DS rarely (well, OK never) makes sure he has everything he needs before undertaking an endeavor. Whether this is due to being male, or to ADHD, or to a combo of both, this is the case. That said, he says, ‘oh wait, I need an audio-video hoozitwhatzit (actually it was an AV switcher cable, which sounded the same to my uncool mom mind)’. This was on a Wednesday. At the time of this announcement, it is 8PM. So, of course (again being the totally unreasonable mom) I said “no”. Minor rearing of Mr. T’s ugly head, but nothing I couldn’t handle. I said, we could get it the next day because his awesome peeps said they were @ WalMart for “a coupla bucks”. Cool, 10-15 minutes of my time & $10 max from my pocketbook; I can handle that.

So, Thursday DS & I venture to WalMart. Can anybody guess what happened? C’mon, be a sport, guess!! Whoever guessed that the wonder widget was NOT @ WalMart wins the stuffed pony!! OK, DS being the totally reasonable, non-narcissistic specimen of adolescence that he is said “hey, that’s cool Mom. Whenever you find the time, maybe you can run to Radio Shack (about 20 miles one way) & pick one up for me”. ROFL!! Seriously, did you really think that’s what happened?? DS wanted to go post haste to said Radio Shack, because life as he knew it would cease if he did not immediately procure the wonder widget. So, I said “no”. Whoopsie!! Full-fledged Mr. T rant followed … He stalked, grumbling from the store. He was driving, so I told him he couldn’t drive like a jerk; obviously giving him the idea that was exactly what he should do. So, he proceeded to drive like the proverbial bat (out of the really hot place) the entire way home. Sadly, all the testosterone rant earned him was a loss of driving privileges & delayed procurement of the hoozitwhatzit.

So dear reader, I leave it to you to decide whether testosterone is terrific or terrible.