How I moved towards becoming a WAHM

Today's guest post is from Aysha Iqbal.  She is a delightful lady I met on www.bloggymoms.com.  She is one of my rescuers as we race to the wire in the stats class. Short Bio:

Aysha has been writing online at various websites like Squidoo. She also manages 2 blogs “Journey of an Online Writer Mum” and a gift blog called “Wonderful Gifts for Wonderful People”. She also has an online store featuring photographic gifts at AddMoreColor.

Having come from an extended family where we provided support to each other when it came to child care and to help everyone balance their career and family effectively, moving to the US and starting a family indeed threw me off balance in the beginning. I wanted to play a good role in the upbringing of my child and not send him to daycare too soon. (Plus they cost an arm and leg here...literarily!)

In the beginning, I felt it was impossible to be both, so I chose to stay home to look after the family and household. But eventually, I started becoming less productive & efficient and more importantly, I constantly felt like my brains were rusting away. There had to be a solution.

So I started searching and these were my criteria to determine what the best way I can work from home was:

1. 1.       It had to be flexible hours. I mean I can’t say my son sleeps exactly at that precise moment every day. He is a boy not a robot. 
2. 2.       I have to be able to give the job my best despite the fact that the home came first. In all, I need to be able to manage them all.
3. 3.       In case of unforeseen circumstances, I should still be alright and not in massive trouble. I can't tell ahead of time when the kid would get sick.

So I searched around and landed on ONLINE WRITING AND BLOGGING. I am very glad to have found this avenue as now I feel like I am doing something with myself. Something more than mundane housework! I learn so much each day and through each blog I visit and each forum group I join. This mode of work at home option has been working out so well for me that I actually started another blog to describe my online writing journey.

Blogging has opened many options for me and I hope to be able to conquer them one by one someday. And also manage that with my family. I am not sure if I am a WAHM yet but I am certainly no longer just a SAHM.

Short Bio

Aysha has been writing online at various websites like Squidoo. She also manages 2 blogs “Journey of an Online Writer Mum” and a gift blog called “Wonderful Gifts for Wonderful People”. She also has an online store featuring photographic gifts at AddMoreColor.

Becoming a housewife

Sara Roberts is visiting today.  We met on http://bloggymoms.com & she graciously agreed to provide a guest post about her transition to a SAHM.  You should visit her site; she has great money saving ideas.  So, drum roll please ... here's Sara!

My name is Sara Roberts and I am a SAHM of three.  My blog is The Millennial Housewife.  It was created because I was looking for ways to cut our budget down and give us some breathing room.  I started researching grocery store deals, and stumbled upon all of the great deals that you can find online.  Now, I like to do product reviews and share tips with my readers, along with still finding the best deal.  

http://www.themillennialhousewife.blogspot.com

 I often read posts from other SAHMs who claim that they’ve always dreamed about being a SAHM, and there was no other choice.  Part of me believes that.   For me, becoming a SAHM was not that easy or such a simple decision. 

First of all, when I met my husband I was working and going to college.    I was also only 19 when we met, so the thought that I would ever be a SAHM never occurred to me.  We got married when I was 21, so again, it seemed perfectly natural that I continue to work, as I had no reason not to.    Our first child came along when I was 22.   During my 6 weeks of maternity leave, I did start dreaming of being home with him but, at that time, it did not make financial sense for our family.   Like everyone else, we had bills to pay and it just wasn’t an option. 

Baby number two came along a few years later, after my husband had been laid off and working at a new place.  We were not in good financial shape, and me staying at home was more of a dream, but definitely not an option.   I had a good sitter, and really trusted her with my kids.  I just didn’t think I was the SAHM type. 

All of a sudden, our sitter quit.  We changed sitters again and, this time, I was not as satisfied.  But, we kept trucking on.  Around my birthday,  we found out that Baby number three was on the way - and this time we were NOT planning for another one!   I kept working and the idea of staying at home crossed my mind, but I didn’t think that it would even be possible.  Right before our third child was born, our sitter started flaking out on us - big time.  For the last month before I went on maternity leave, I had to use a backup sitter.   That really started turning the wheels.  The final kicker was when she quoted me what she would charge me to watch my three children - it was outrageous!  We couldn’t afford for me TO go to work.  Not to mention the fact that this woman was charging me this amount and I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why she thought she was worth that much!  We sat down and put the numbers on paper, and it became clear - I could stay home and we would still be able to pay the bills. 

Even after seeing it on paper, there was so much more to consider.  All of these questions started flashing around my head:  By me staying at home, all of the financial responsibility would now be placed on my husband.  Was he ready to shoulder all of it?  I would now be in complete control of the household, was I ready to shoulder all of it?  What if we couldn’t make ends meet - would it be my fault?  Will my husband resent my new role?  Would I be doing the best thing for our family?  Will I be able to go back to work one day and still have a career?  Would I even want to?    The thought that I was about to leave the “adult” world terrified me.  What was I going to do at home?

I’ve been at home for 2-½ years now.  I made the absolute RIGHT decision for our family.  Things have been tight at times and it has not always been picture perfect.  We have made lifestyle changes and had to cut back.  But knowing that my kids will remember having Mom as their “sitter” and not someone else is priceless to me.   I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

The important thing to remember is this:  Do what is right for you.  Quit worrying about what other people think or say.  Everyone thinks that the way they live is the right way, and it is FOR THEM.  Live how it is right for you.  

My new quote in life…mommyinLDN

Bridgette Shima (aka mommyinLDN) is a first time mom who lives in Southwest London with her one year old son and husband.  She writes about London with kids and shares just how easy it is to get around in the big city.  As an American expat, originally from New York, she shares her experiences regarding living abroad and its challenges and is also very passionate about sports.  You can visit her at http://eatdrinkpottyplay.wordpress.com/

"Let us be grateful to people who makes us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." ~ Marcel Proust

I love this. It brings a smile to my face every time I read it. It shines a light through the darkest of moments when things may seem overwhelming or when a day seems too long to handle. We’ve been told time and time again that “life is short so live as if it’s your last day”. But how many of us really take the time to reflect on this? How consumed are we by our daily routines? I remember those days when I worked long hours and dealt with a very hectic schedule, my mind was always on the “go”. Work was stressful and the pressure was constantly on, however, back then I was young and free so the responsibilities I have now weren’t there. I’d get off work and think about who I’d I meet for a drink or race to get a mani/pedi before the nail salon closed. I shopped til I dropped and took full advantage of New York City’s happening life. Spending money made me happy, very happy indeed. I’d spend it like it was going out of style, living the single, crazy life. Happiness was all on the surface. It wasn’t until I met my husband and became a Mom that I learned one of the biggest lessons in life: it is no longer about the want but the need and it was then that I realized motherhood changed me forever. My husband taught me this, taught me the real value of money. I’m a SAHM so my husband’s money is my money. I really can’t spend it like I used to spend mine as it can only stretch so far when feeding a family of three. So those days of going out to the ritzy, chic bars aren’t in sight. I’d much rather cook a meal and spend the day in the park watching our lil guy have the time of his life. This is what I live for now. I can count on both hands those people that make me happy; and I can tell you that my list has definitely shortened in the last two years. Without them I wouldn’t have my sanity nor would I have anyone to set me straight! We can joke around or talk about the serious things in life, its hardships and challenges. We tell stories and our relationships grow fonder. They’re all gardeners, planting their own seeds in my memory bank. When I feel like I need a quick pick-me-up, I think of a funny email between my brother and I or a time when our lil guy has a giggle attack (there have been loads lately!). Other times I think about the future such as our upcoming wedding anniversary next month and spending Christmas with my mother and sister here in London. All these things make me happy and are wonderful to look forward to. So, who are those that make you happy? I challenge you to take five minutes every day and think about a happy moment in your life. When you feel as if your day has gotten the best of you, think of a special someone. I guarantee it’ll put a smile on your face too!